Confessions of an Empathetic Entrepreneur

“It is a blessing and a curse to feel so deeply.”

When people ask me what fuels me as a Founder, my answer is always the same: empathy.

I am either a “reserved observer” or a “ deeply emotional” person. They could be considered polar opposites and are often utilized to describe me on a scale of how well someone knows me. If we are strangers, I’m reserved yet present and listening; if we are friends, I am expressive, emotional and maybe too involved.

While I relate to all of these analyses and feel that in one or another they are accurate to who I am…I have also always felt the way to truly sum me into one descriptor would be: empathetic.

[By definition, to be empathic/demonstrate empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of others.]

In my opinion, there is a second, missing leg to that definition: the means by which we feel for others AND ourselves.

When I feel, I feel deeply. When I listen, I’m listening 100%. When I am introduced to someone, I am taking the time to observe and understand who they are before I put myself front and center. And when I am overcome with emotion, I let myself express the innate human feeling at full capacity. I laugh really hard when something is funny (I’ve been told it’s a cackle), I cry when I feel moved, and I care so much about people and how they are doing that it often delays my day.

When it comes to entrepreneurship, the conversation around empathy gets messy. We’re told there are two different styles of leadership: direct & passive. We’re falsely guided to believe that nothing gets done if you’re too empathic. “Too much emotional expenditure means you can get taken advantage of,” I once read in a trusted publication.

This type of language confuses us as employees and leaders. If our gut reaction is to empathize and lead with kindness, why are we so often discouraged not to? Throughout my career, I have had the opportunity to work with incredibly empathic, compassionate, and loving founders (shout out to John Oliver, Piera Gelardi, & Christina Tosi) and ones that have ripped open my heart and made me feel worthless (they shall remain anonymous). My experiences with these leaders have taught me very simple life lessons that have always remained in my gut: when you see and hear your employees, respect their feelings, their livinood and their time, they work really hard with passion, energy, and enthusiasm.

Although, I am by no means a veteran founder, (every single day is the biggest day, of the biggest job I have ever had), I feel determined and 100% convinced that empathy is the key to success.

At Utendahl Creative, I am technically “Founder,” but it is the founding TEAM that brings all the magic to life. Every morning when they wake up, they choose to come to work, they choose to work hard, they choose to be a team player and we choose to work as one. If we, as Founders, truly choose to understand that they (our teams) have options, then the most innate human response should be nothing but…empathy & gratitude.

In my opinion, empathy does not only mean compassion for my team, but also for myself through all the highs and lows of being an entrepreneur. I found that when I self-acknowledge that what I’ve decided to do is tough and a daily learning lesson, I am able to find deep compassion for myself and the wild journey I’m on.

When building a company, Founders can exist in a space of launching, leading, and growing with heart, soul, and compassion for people who choose to join us on our adventure and the daily learnings we experience as we pursue our goals.

To anyone and everyone who has been labeled as “emotional” or “too caring,” just note that you have my support in continuing to lead with heart and empathy.

Cheers to all the empathic leaders out there — you’re not passive and you’re not alone. In fact, you have a community of empathic entrepreneurs who understand you, are rooting for you (myself included), and are on a similar rocket ship destined for success.

This Feels Like….Empathy.